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    Two couples went out golfing together. The men hit first from the men's tee and walked with the ladies to their tee box. The first lady took a mighty swing at the ball, missing it completely, while passing some gas rather loudly in the process.

    No one commented.

    She addressed the ball again but this time she passed just little gas as she made contact with the ball, topping it and moving it only a short distance.

    She said, "I wonder why it didn't go any further?"

    One of the men said, "I don't think you gave it enough gas."
  • Denounce The Devil The priest was preparing a man for his long day`s journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!" The dying man said nothing...
  • Feeding Pigeons! A difficult independent 75-year-old woman liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a whole loaf of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch...
  • Pet Fish! A man gets stopped by a game warden with his basket full of fish.
    Warden: Do you have a permit for all these fish?
    Man: No sir. These are all my pet fish...
  • The Captain’s Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem...
  • Profit Making Deal The son of a financier bursts into his father`s office and says, "Dad, lend me $5,000."
    "What for?" his father asks.
    "I`ve got a sure tip on the market...