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    Margie received a bill from the hospital for her recent surgery, and was astonished to see a $900 fee for the anesthesiologist. She called his office to demand an explanation.

    "Is this some kind of mistake?" Margie asked when she got the doctor on the phone.

    "No, not at all," the doctor said calmly.

    "Well," said Margie, "that's awfully costly for knocking someone out."

    "Not at all," replied the doctor. "I knock you out for free... The 900 dollars is for bringing you back around."
  • He Knows You A senior couple pulls up to a gas station: Attendant: How may I help you?
    Old Man: Please fill it up.
    Old Lady: What did he say?
    Old Man [yelling]: He asked what we wanted and...
  • Anger Management! A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband`s temper. The doctor asks, "So what seems to be the problem?"
    The woman says, "Doctor, I don`t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his...
  • Life Insurance! Sarah and Abe are out celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary. During the evening, Sarah broaches the subject of (their) life insurance, an issue she has been raising with him for at least 10 years...
  • Out of Gas! Two couples went out golfing together. The men hit first from the men`s tee and walked with the ladies to their tee box. The first lady took a mighty swing at the ball, missing it completely, while passing...
  • Who's Under The Bed? Mike goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, he says, "I`ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed and I think there`s somebody on top of it. Top, under, under top. I`m going crazy...