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    A guy ordered a drink in an airport cocktail lounge and suddenly realized that sitting across from him was Bill Gates.

    Barely concealing his enthusiasm, he introduced himself, "Hello, Mr. Gates. My name is Larry. You don't know me, but I'd like to ask you for a small favor."

    A wary Gates asked, "And what might that be?"

    "I'm meeting with a potential client here in a few minutes and if I can sign this deal, it could change my whole life. All I ask is that you walk over and greet me like an old friend. Perhaps my client will be impressed enough to swing the deal."

    Relieved, Gates said, "Sure. I can do that for you."

    A few minutes later, as the man sat talking with his client, Gates finished his drink, walked over to them, and said, "Hey, Larry! I thought that was you. How've you been?"

    And the guy replied, "F*¬Ęk off, Gates! I'm in a meeting here!"
  • A Nutty Affair So I was sitting on the bus and somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw an old lady. She said to me, "Sonny, would you like some nuts? I`ve got a couple hazelnuts and almonds if you`d like....
  • Your Job Sucks? Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains...
  • Your Prayer Has Been Heard A college student wrote a letter home: Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy.I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my...
  • Multiple Entrances There is this corner bar that has three entrances, one on each street, and one on the corner. A drunk walks into one entrance, and bartender refuses to serve him, telling him he is too drunk. So, the drunk leaves...
  • Why Me...? A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over...