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    Brandon, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Justin, and asks for a cigarette.

    "I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking," Justin responds.

    "I'm in the process of quitting," replies Brandon with a grin. "Right now, I am in the middle of phase one."

    "Phase one?" wonders Justin.

    "Yeah," laughs Brandon, "I've quit buying."
  • Worried Sick! The ninety five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of her fellow church members.
    "How are you feeling?" the visitor asked.
    "Oh," said the lady, "I`m just...
  • Broken Scrotum! A woman named Jill stood up at her church`s Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation...
  • The Greatest Moment The nurse approached him, smiling. "The labor is going great," she said. "Wouldn`t you like to come in?"
    "Oh, no." The man shook his head.
    The nurse returned...
  • Microsoft is Always Right One of Microsoft`s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came...
  • Young Widow To get acquainted with his new Parish, the Priest decided to call on some daily. One he selected was a young widow, her husband, according to the index card, had died two years ago. After knocking...