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    Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
    "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They Augustht us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."
    "That is great! And what was the name of the clinic?"
    Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but could not remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
    "You mean a rose?"
    "Yes, that`s it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"
  • Riding blonde ! A blonde Decemberides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs...
  • Watermelons: There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and
  • Ban plastic bags... Sam and John were out cutting wood, and John cut his arm off. Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon. The surgeon said: 'You are in luck! I am an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours.' So Sam came back in four hours and...
  • About Penguins... A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and...
  • Want my job? The patrol officer stopped a motorist for a traffic violation. Standing outside his expensive foreign car, the red-faced driver frantically waved his hands and jumped up and down.
    He shouted at the top of his lungs, 'I`ll have your...