•  

    A motorcycle officer stopped a man who ran a red light.

    The guy was a real jerk, demanding, "Why am I being harassed by the Gestapo?!"

    The officer calmly told him of his violation.

    The man erupted in a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry and sexual orientation in explicit terms.

    The officer took it in stride, saying nothing. When he finished writing the citation, he put "AH" in corner and then handed it to the man to sign.

    The man demanded to know what "AH" meant.

    The officer stared straight into his eyes and said, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you were such an a$shole!" and then returned to his cruiser.

    The violator's a bad record meant that he would lose his license, so he hired a hot-shot attorney to represent him.

    The defense attorney called the officer to the stand and asked, "Officer, is there any particular marking on this citation you don't normally make?"

    "Why, yes, sir, there is. Near the bottom there's an underlined 'AH.'"

    "What does 'AH' stand for, officer?"

    "Aggressive and hostile, sir."

    "Aggressive and hostile?"

    "Yes, sir."

    "Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for 'A$shole'?"

    The officer grinned, "Well, sir, you know your client better than I!"
  • Embarrassing Moment Two girls board a crowded bus and one of them whispers to the other, "Watch me embarrass a man into giving me his seat."
    Pushing her way through the crowd, she turned all of her charms...
  • Proud Of Daddy Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him...
  • Premature Obituary Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on pragmatism rather than real friendship...
  • Fix The Outhouse Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
    Pa replies, "There ain`t nothing wrong with the outhouse...
  • The Missing Shoe One evening, a man gave his tipsy secretary a ride home after an office party. His wife was prone to jealousy, so he didn`t mention the incident to her. Later in the evening, he was driving his wife...