A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home.

    When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.

    So he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.

    He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.

    He loved one of the homes and the price was right. The agent asked, "How many children do you have?"

    He answered, "Twelve."

    The agent asked, "Where are the others?"

    The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look, answered, "They're in the cemetery with their mother."

    MORAL: It's not necessary to lie; one has only to choose the right words.
  • Passing Too Much Gas A Ballerina goes to the doctor, "Doc I am having terrible trouble with the most awful wind. Every time I pirouette I fart," she cries.
    "Hmmm," says the Doctor, "I`d like to see that...
  • Very Expensive Roast Chicken When the heir to the Rothschild fortune visited a poor Jewish village near Budapest, the locals poured out to greet him. With all due ceremony, he was given a small parade, met with the mayor, and awarded..
  • High Blood Pressure When a physician remarked on a new patient`s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
    "Your mother`s side or your father...
  • We Are Zulus A packed plane was flying over the Atlantic at night. Suddenly, the pilot says, "Ladies & Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude & we must throw out all the baggage."
    A little later, the pilot says...
  • Honest Couple A young man and woman were eager to enjoy a picnic in the park one Saturday noon, and they opted to go through a fast-food drive-in for a quick snack. They ordered, paid, got their bag of goodies...