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    A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

    "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

    "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll ruin you all!'"

    St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" he asked.

    "Just a couple of minutes ago."
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