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    Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did your daughter marry?"

    "Oh, he's wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her sleep late, wants her to go to the beauty parlor regularly, and insists on taking her out to dinner every night."

    "That's nice," said the woman. "What about your son?"

    "I'm not so happy about that," the mother sighed. "His wife sleeps late, spends all her time in the beauty parlor, and makes them eat take-out meals!"
  • Common Sense is Dead Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic...
  • Superfast Turtle A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle`s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape....
  • The Perfect Man! A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You`re just like Brian."
    Passenger: "Who?"
    Cabbie: "Brian. He`s a guy...
  • Most Embarrassing Moment An American girl was visiting England and was invited to a party. While dancing with a stuffy monocled Englishman, her necklace became unfastened and slipped down the back of her dress...
  • Good Deed A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
    "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
    "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered...