•  

    A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

    After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately, we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

    The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"

    The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75-year-old scotch didn't break. Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune."

    Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle, and then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.

    The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

    She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."

    Some years ago Eve talked Adam into eating the apple. Men will never learn!
  • Women Can't Keep Secrets At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.
    "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
    "I don`t know about that...
  • Time Zones are Confusing One of Russia`s Ambassadors was having dinner with Putin and said that time zones around the world confused him. "Why?" Putin asks.
    "Ah, Mr. President, I called Angela Merkel to congratulate...
  • The Picture Diet I remember one time when I was home visiting my folks. My mom asked me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator and taped to the inside of the door was a risque picture of a lovely, slender...
  • Blonde Witness A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?"
    "Objection!" said the defense attorney...
  • Wonderful Spouse Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did your daughter marry?"
    "Oh, he`s wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her..