Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"

    "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests."

    "I don`t mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"

    "Oh, sure," came the reply. "I`ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
  • Learn To Speak Japanese In Three Minutes English: He`s cleaning his automobile
    Japanese: Wa Shing Ka

  • Parking woes! Santa and Banta were sitting down to their usual morningcup of coffee listening to the weather report on theradio. 'There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, anda snow emergency has been declared,' the weather reportsaid. 'You must park your cars on the odd numbered sideof the streets.'
  • The poor Minister! The elderly minister was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents.
  • Oh these females! If you kiss her,
    you are not a gentleman

    If you don`t,
    you are not a man
  • Intertesting trivia... 1. In Cleveland, Ohio, it s illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
    2. Dr. Seuss coined the word 'nerd' in his 1950 book 'If I Ran the Zoo'.