A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She`d seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary items together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.
    After positioning her footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
    Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
    Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
    The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, sat up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
    She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?" The voice replied, "No, I`m the Ice-Rink Manager!"
  • Not again! After four years of separation, a man and his wife finally divorced amicably. He wanted to date again, but he had no idea of how to start, so he decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper.
    After reading through all the...
  • Robbing the robbers! A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer`s club by mistake.
    The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
    'It ain`t so...
  • Things law enforcement officials say: The handcuffs are tight because they`re new. They`ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.

    Take your hands off the car, and I`ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.

    Remember, when you gotta cuff `em ..nobody is your...
  • Centipede!! The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede. By this point the man is wondering what`s going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later... still no centipede! He can`t imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede
  • The chicken and the eggs! Man runs to the doctor and says, 'doctor, you`ve got to help me...my wife thinks she`s a chicken!'
    Doctor says, ' how long has she had this...