A scouser was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face.
"Who`s he?" asked the scouser.
"That`s the Memory Man." said the bartender. "He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember any fact he experiences. Go and try him out."
So the scouser goes over, and thinking he won`t know about English football, asks "Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?".
"Liverpool" replies the Memory Man.
"Who did they beat?"
"Leeds" was the instant reply.
"And the score?"
"Who scored the winning goal?"
"Ian St. John" was the old man`s reply, without a hint of hesitation.
The scouser was knocked out by this and told everyone back home about the Memory Man when he got back. A few years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Indian only this time he was older and even more wrinkled. Because he was so impressed the scouser decided to greet the Indian in his native tongue.
He approached him with the greeting "How".
The Memory man looked up and replied....."Diving header in the six yard box".
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other at the bar. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, drunk and dozing, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over...