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    A army trainer was teaching his recruits about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked.
    Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then Santa in the back eagerly raised his hand.
    "Yes Santa, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?"
    Santa replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
    "Why`s that Santa ?"
    "Well," answered Santa, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
    "And what about the deck of cards?" asked trainer impatiently.
    "Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"
  • Spelling mistake Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
    Right in the middle of the cemetery they were...
  • Sharing everything ! A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast food place. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then...
  • The bid ! One day Santa went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. Santa kept on bidding, but...
  • Bird lover ! Santa is a evening bird lover. One day he stood in his backyard and heard an owl hoot. So he thought he`d give a hoot back. To his surprise...
  • Lawyer at Pearly Gates A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise...