A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman. After awhile, the woman starts to smell this horrible odor coming from the direction of the drunk.
    She turns to him and says, "Excuse me Mister, but did you just shit yourself?"
    The drunk replied, "Yes ma`am, I have indeed shit myself."
    The woman says, "Well, why don`t you go somewhere and clean yourself up?"
    The drunk says, "`Cos I`m not finished yet..."
  • Accident ! Santa and Banta driving on a street, in different directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars slammed into each other, head-on. They were able to get out of their cars without any serious injury, but the cars were totaled.
    Before Santa could say anything, Banta said...
  • Santa in court A man was on trial for selling drugs, and his neighbour, Santa, was called as a witness.
    The prosecutor asked: 'Did you ever get any cocaine from the defendant?'
    'No, sir,' answered Santa.
    'Did you ever get any...
  • Secret !! Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
    'Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,' he cackled. 'I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.'
    The celebrants were impressed and asked...
  • Breathalyzer test! After a wild freeway chase, the motorcycle cop waved the speeding sports car over to the curb. When he walked up to the drivers window, he was surprised to find a very attractive blonde behind the wheel.
    'Ma`am,' he said .'I`m afraid we`re going to have to give you a...
  • Mother-in-law Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. Banta ran up.
    The man said, 'My wife is drowning and I can`t swim. Please save her. I`ll give you Rs 500.'
    Banta dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he...