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    A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is.
    "Well," said the drunk, "it looks like plastic and feels like rubber."
    "Let me have it," said the lawyer.
    Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely.
    "Yes," he finally said, "it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don`t know what it is. Where did you get it?"
    "From my nose," the drunk replied.
  • Escaping Banta ! Banta came into the bar, with a big scowl on his face, and ordered a drink.
    The bartender says, 'You look a mite angry. What`s wrong?'
    Banta says, 'Well, I was in bed with this gal, and we heard her husband coming in, so I jumped out the window and held on to the window sill. He came over to the window and saw me, and...
  • Accident ! Santa and Banta driving on a street, in different directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars slammed into each other, head-on. They were able to get out of their cars without any serious injury, but the cars were totaled.
    Before Santa could say anything, Banta said...
  • Santa in court A man was on trial for selling drugs, and his neighbour, Santa, was called as a witness.
    The prosecutor asked: 'Did you ever get any cocaine from the defendant?'
    'No, sir,' answered Santa.
    'Did you ever get any...
  • Secret !! Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
    'Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,' he cackled. 'I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.'
    The celebrants were impressed and asked...
  • Breathalyzer test! After a wild freeway chase, the motorcycle cop waved the speeding sports car over to the curb. When he walked up to the drivers window, he was surprised to find a very attractive blonde behind the wheel.
    'Ma`am,' he said .'I`m afraid we`re going to have to give you a...