Banta is pulled over by the same motorcycle cop who caught him earlier last month for not stopping at lights and beat him up. So Banta decides to go for a revenge this time.
    Banta: Is there a problem Officer?
    Cop: Sir, you were speeding.
    Banta: Oh I see.
    Cop: Can I see your licence please?
    Banta: I`d give it to you but I don`t have one.
    Cop: Don`t have one?
    Banta: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
    Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
    Banta: I can`t do that.
    Cop: Why not?
    Banta: I stole this car.
    Cop: Stole it?
    Banta: Yes, and I killed and raped the owner.
    Cop: You what?
    Banta: She`s in the trunk if you want to see.
    The Cop looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
    Senior Officer: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! Banta steps out of his vehicle.
    Banta: Is there a problem sir?
    Senior Officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
    Banta: Murdered the owner?
    Senior Officer: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please.
    Banta opens the trunk, revealing nothing.
    Senior Officer: Is this your car sir?
    Banta: Yes, here are the registration papers.
    The Officer is quite stunned.
    Senior Officer: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.
    Banta digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.
    Senior Officer: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn`t have a licence, stole this car, raped and murdered the owner.
    Banta: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.
  • Chocolate almonds A priest decides one mid weekday to visit one of his elderly parishoners, Mrs. Smith. He rings the door bell and Mrs. Smith appears.
    'Good Day Mrs. Smith. I just thought I would drop by and see how your are doing.'
    The woman says, 'Oh just fine Father, come on in and we`ll have some tea.'
    While sitting a the coffee table, the priest notices...
  • Fencing!! Three guys were trying to sneak into the Asian Games Village at Busan,South Korea to scoop souvenirs and autographs.
    The first says, 'Let`s watch the registration table to see if there`s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in.'Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states...
  • No risks Santa went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, Santa`s mother-in-law died.
    With the death certificate in hand, Santa went to the Indian Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to Punjab, India for a proper funeral ceremony.
    The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told Santa...
  • Correct but useless There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out.
    He began circling around looking for a landmark. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he...
  • Animal Noises A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
    'Davy, what noise does a cow make?'
    'It goes moo.'
    'Alice, what noise does a cat make?'
    'It goes...