It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot. They were an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.
    The elephant complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool!"
    The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick up food, drink water, etc. without getting wet!"
    Next the giraffe complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS LONG NECK! It makes me top heavy, I get terrible neck pains, and people laugh at me!"
    The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick the best fruit and leaves from the high branches, and allows you to see a distance."
    The hen spoke up, "Lord, I don't want to complain, but either let me have a bigger hole or smaller eggs."
  • Honking A lady was out driving her car and when she stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing.
    The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as the lady...
  • Just confirming A guy phones a law firm and says, 'I want to speak to my lawyer.'
    The receptionist says, 'I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week.'
    The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, 'I want to speak to my lawyer.'
    Once again the receptionist replies, 'I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last...
  • That's a thought A man accused of robbing a bank was tried for the final time and was found guilty.
    Just before he was taken away, the man looked the judge in the eye and said, 'Would it be okay if I called you a...
  • Installing poles! A foreman sent out two groups of men to put up telephone poles along a new highway and asked them to report at the end of the day.
    The crews were gone all day and returned just as the sun was setting.
    The foreman asked the leader of the first group how many poles...
  • Great strength! Fireman John rushed into a burning building and rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown.
    He carried her in his arms down three flights of stairs and saved her from her sure demise.
    As they arrived safely...