In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.
    Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
    And with that command, the statues came to life.
    The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dived behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the giggling of statues, rustling of bushes and snapping of twigs.
    After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"
    The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
    Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time you hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on its head!"
  • Entry to Heaven! 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?' Robert asked the children in a school class.
    'NO!' the children all answered.
    'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and...
  • True friend! Murphy and his friend George go golfing together one Saturday morning, as they have done for 20 years straight.
    Later that day, Murphy returns home exhausted, and plops down in the easy chair. His wife is concerned and asks if something went wrong with his game.
    'No, no,' he replied, 'I had the...
  • Bad horse The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke of Edenbourgh over for a cup of tea. The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse.
    After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse...
  • Drowning!!! One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world twenty feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.
    The diver went below another twenty feet, and the guy...
  • Nothing to worry! While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and George looked out of the window.
    'Good lord!' he screamed, 'one of the engines just blew up!'
    Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another...