•  

    Santa took his dog to the vet for its annual check-up.
    "Your dog is overweight," the vet said. "You should cut back on his food a little and make sure he gets some exercise. Try playing fetch with him."
    "That's impossible," Santa replied. "I can't play fetch with my dog."
    "Why not?" asked the puzzled vet.
    "Because," Santa said, "he can't throw."
  • Tough job! There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.
    So the guy turns around to go back...
  • Entry to Heaven! 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?' Robert asked the children in a school class.
    'NO!' the children all answered.
    'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and...
  • True friend! Murphy and his friend George go golfing together one Saturday morning, as they have done for 20 years straight.
    Later that day, Murphy returns home exhausted, and plops down in the easy chair. His wife is concerned and asks if something went wrong with his game.
    'No, no,' he replied, 'I had the...
  • Bad horse The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke of Edenbourgh over for a cup of tea. The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse.
    After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse...
  • Drowning!!! One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world twenty feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.
    The diver went below another twenty feet, and the guy...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT