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    Father John walked into a pub, and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
    The man said, "I do Father."
    The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
    Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
    "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
    "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father John walked up to Robert and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
    Robert said, "No, I don't Father."
    The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
    Robert said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
  • Banta's faith Banta was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall.
    In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff.
    Full of fear he assessed his situation. He was about...
  • Overweight dog Santa took his dog to the vet for its annual check-up.
    'Your dog is overweight,' the vet said. 'You should cut back on his food a little and make sure he gets some exercise. Try playing...
  • Statue's revenge! In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.
    Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, 'Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to...
  • Tough job! There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.
    So the guy turns around to go back...
  • Entry to Heaven! 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?' Robert asked the children in a school class.
    'NO!' the children all answered.
    'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and...