A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer.
    The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him. "Look," said the customer, "I have no arms - would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?"
    "Sure", said the bartender, and he did.
    "Now," said the customer, "I wonder if you'd be so kind as to get my handkerchief out of my pocket and wipe the foam off my mouth."
    "Certainly." And it was done.
    "If," said the armless man, "you'd reach in my right hand pants pocket, you'll find the money for the beer."
    The bartender got it.
    "You've been very kind," said the customer. "Just one thing more. Where is the men's room?"
    "Out the door," said the bartender, "turn left, walk two blocks, and there's one in a filling station on the corner."
  • Last wish! Father John walked into a pub, and said to the first man he met, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
    The man said, 'I do Father.'
    The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'
    Then the priest asked the second man...
  • Vacuum cleaner! A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by Banta, carrying a vacuum cleaner.
    'Good morning', said Banta. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high powered...
  • Banta's faith Banta was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall.
    In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff.
    Full of fear he assessed his situation. He was about...
  • Overweight dog Santa took his dog to the vet for its annual check-up.
    'Your dog is overweight,' the vet said. 'You should cut back on his food a little and make sure he gets some exercise. Try playing...
  • Statue's revenge! In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.
    Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, 'Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to...