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    A guy was coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
    He grabbed him by the hand and pulled him aside and said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
    The guy said, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
    Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
    He whispered back, "I'm in the Secret Service."
  • Ouststanding! A man is driving down a country road, when he spots Santa standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
    He pulls the car over to the side of the road and...
  • Jumping Santa Santa was asked to try out a new parachute with a radio link to a guy on the ground, the guy on the ground would say when to pull the release cord for the parachute.
    Santa jumped out of the plane and started to fall when...
  • Beggar's bed A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax.
    After a while a dirty old beggar came up to her and said, 'Good Morning...
  • Final words! Three friends die in a car accident, and upon their arrival to heaven, they are all asked, 'When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?'
    The first man says...
  • God's share Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what they do with the money they receive in the collection plate.
    One priest says, 'Well, I draw a line on the floor, throw all the money in the air and whatever lands north of the line...