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    After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home.
    As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"
    "Yes," the golfer responded.
    "Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"
    "Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.
    "Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"
    The golfer thought it over carefully and responded, "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
  • Foreign languages A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. 'Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?' he asks.
    The two Americans just stare at him.
    'Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?' he tries.
    The two continue to...
  • Speed trap A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
    The officer handed him...
  • Helping blonde Once upon a time there were two blondes who had gone rock climbing. Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom.
    The other man frantically screamed, 'Ross!', and was relieved to hear a faint...
  • Our bed! At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.
    She went to the priest and told him, 'Father, I believe your rugs need to be...
  • The Toilet Seat A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat.
    The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck...