Santa is sitting at the coffee shop, staring morosely into his coffee.
    Banta walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts, he asks Santa what the problem is.
    "Well," said Santa, "I ran afoul of one of those questions my wife asks. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."
    "What kind of question?" asked Banta.
    "My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly." "That's easy," said Banta. "You just say 'Of course I will!"
    "Yeah," said Santa, "that's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO.'"
  • Atheist! A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher...
  • Foreign languages A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. 'Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?' he asks.
    The two Americans just stare at him.
    'Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?' he tries.
    The two continue to...
  • Speed trap A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
    The officer handed him...
  • Helping blonde Once upon a time there were two blondes who had gone rock climbing. Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom.
    The other man frantically screamed, 'Ross!', and was relieved to hear a faint...
  • Our bed! At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.
    She went to the priest and told him, 'Father, I believe your rugs need to be...