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    A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:
    "To you, my loving wife Rachel, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $5 million."
    The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Christy, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $2 million."
    The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Matt, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will – well, you are wrong. Hi, Matt."
  • Cross-examine A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined.
    The lawyer thundered, 'Have you ever been married?'
    'Yes, sir,' said the witness in a low voice. 'Once.'
    'Whom did you...
  • Wrong answer Santa is sitting at the coffee shop, staring morosely into his coffee.
    Banta walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts, he asks...
  • Golfer After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home.
    As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked...
  • Atheist! A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher...
  • Foreign languages A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. 'Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?' he asks.
    The two Americans just stare at him.
    'Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?' he tries.
    The two continue to...