•  

    One day three young boys were playing, and talking about their home life with their parents. One little boy said, "It's about time I be getting home, because if I'm late for supper, my Dad will get mad and whip up on me. He's a real mean father."
    The second little boy said, "Your father ain't mean, I got the meanest Dad in the world."
    The first little boy said, "How come you say that?"
    The second little boy said, "Every time I go home, he slaps me if I say something, and if I don't say something he slaps me. Man I just don't know what to do anymore."
    The third little boy said, "Not me, I got the best Dad in the world. He plays with me, and do things with me. He's a real good Dad."
    The first two boys looked at him kind of funny and said, "Do he teach you how to do things too?"
    The third boy said, "He sho' do, he's teaching me how to swim! Every morning he takes me out to the middle of the lake, and let's me swim back to the shore."
    The first two said, almost in unison, "Ain't it kind of hard to swim from the middle of the lake back to the shore?"
    "Nah, that's the easy part, the hard part is getting out of that sack!"
  • Perfect man! Joe walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Bryan.'
    'Who?'...
  • How generous! A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:
    'To you, my loving wife Rachelwho stood by me in rough times, as well as good...
  • Rooster replacement Banta was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car and up floated a cloud of feathers.
    Shaken, Banta pulled over...
  • Cross-examine A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined.
    The lawyer thundered, 'Have you ever been married?'
    'Yes, sir,' said the witness in a low voice. 'Once.'
    'Whom did you...
  • Wrong answer Santa is sitting at the coffee shop, staring morosely into his coffee.
    Banta walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts, he asks...