•  

    The local bank near a large prison had a problem opening their safe one day. Seems that the mechanisms working the combination failed, so they called the prison to seek help.
    The prison had a convicted safe cracker in custody. They released him under guard and took him to the bank to see if he could open their safe.
    The convict worked on the lock for quite a while but finally he was able to open the safe.
    The bank president was delighted to see his safe opened without having to have it ruined in the process, he turned to the safe cracker and said, "Thanks for helping us out here, how much do we owe you?"
    The safe cracker replied, "Well the last time I did one of these jobs I got about $100,000!"
  • Don't laugh! A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven.
    God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 25th step he would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the...
  • Meanest Dad One day three young boys were playing, and talking about their home life with their parents.
    One little boy said, 'It's about time I be getting home because if I'm late for supper...

  • Scared!!! One day Gramma sent her grandson little Johnnie down to the water hole to get some water to cook dinner.
    As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes...

  • Perfect man! Joe walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Bryan.'
    'Who?'...
  • How generous! A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:
    'To you, my loving wife Rachelwho stood by me in rough times, as well as good...