Brian came into his wife's room one day. "If I were, say, disfigured, would you still love me?" he asked her.

    "Darling, I'll always love you," she said calmly, filing her nails.

    "How about if I became crippled and couldn't make love to you any more?" Brian asked nervously.

    "Don't worry, darling, I'll always love you," she told him, buffing her nails.

    "Well, how about if I lost my job as vice president?" Brian went on, "if I weren't pulling in six figures any more. Would you still love me then?"

    The wife looked over at her husband's worried face. "Frank, I'll always love you," she reassured him, "but most of all, I'll really miss you."
  • Lawn Mowing When Steve's power mower broke down, his wife, Anna, kept dropping hints about getting it fixed before the grass got too tall, but the message wasn't sinking in, and Steve kept putting off the repairs.
    Finally, she thought...
  • Air Canada A guy sitting at an airport bar noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him.He thought to himself, 'Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant; but which airline does she work for?'
    Hoping to pick her...
  • Senile Golfer Phil loved golf, but his eye sight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it.
    He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Phil bring along her uncle...
  • Blessings The Pope was finishing his sermon in the Basilica in St. Peters Square in Rome. He ended it with the Latin phrase, 'Tutti Homini...
  • Remarry? One night, a husband and wife were having a conversation over dinner:
    Wife: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
    Husband: Definitely...