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    The Last Day
    Santa walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of the strongest thing you've got."

    He takes the shot glass and knocks it back. He then asks for another one and knocks that on back, too. After about five or six of these the bartender decides that he's going to cut the guy off.

    Bartender says to Santa, "Hey, what's wrong with you? Did you have a fight with your wife or something?"

    Santa sighs and says, "Yeah, after the fight she said that she wasn't going to speak to me for a whole month!"

    The bartender, puzzled, says, "Well, what's wrong with that?"

    Santa replied, "Well today's the last day!"
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