A drunk stumbles out of a bar and he makes his way into the cemetery behind the tavern. He walks right to the edge of a freshly dug grave, loses his balance and falls in.

    There's a puddle of water in the hole, and he spends the rest of the night yelling, "Help me, I'm cold! Someone help me, I'm cold!"

    At closing time, another drunk walks behind the bar and hears the noise.

    He gets to the open grave, looks down and says, "Of course you're cold, you idiot, you kicked all the dirt off yourself!"
  • New Fathers A Pole, an Italian, and a Jew, all first-time fathers, are pacing nervously in the maternity ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding a black baby.
    'Is it yours?' she asks...
  • Xmas Shopping Christmas was coming near and it was time for Little Johnny to finish his holiday shopping. He went into a toy shop, took a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper fake money and started to leave.
    The shopkeeper spoke up...
  • Perfectionst A district minister arrived one Sunday morning in a small rural town. The local minister asked the district minister to help with a local problem.
    'Everyone here thinks they are just perfect!' said the local minister. 'Could you preach a sermon that...
  • Silver Jubilee On their way home, after celebrating their 25th anniversary, the wife thanks her husband for a wonderful evening.
    'Oh, it's not over yet.' He said.
    Once home, he gives her a little black velvet box. She opens it in...
  • Nervous A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined.
    The lawyer thundered, 'Have you ever been married?'
    'Yes, sir,' said the witness in...