Breast Stroke
    There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.

    One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.

    After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight.

    "What took you so long?" inquired the Redhead.

    "There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the Brunette.

    "No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait. Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view.

    Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde, "What took you so long?"

    "What do you expect? You guy's cheated, replied the idignant blonde, "You used your hands!"
  • Talking Clock Talking Clock A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet...
  • Self Refilling Self Refilling A drunk guy was stumbling home one day when he got lost and found himself in the bush. He fell to the ground and noticed a lamp. He picked it up, and rubbed it, and out came a...

  • Stages of Drunk This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen...
  • Ferrari vs Dog Ferrari vs Dog A farmer has to go out to plow his rental field about 5-6 miles from his farm. To get there he must drive his tractor, and his dog old Joe trots along beside him. Halfway through the plowing...
  • Lipstick Problem Lipstick Problem A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips...