•  

    A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

    They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.

    They don't want the cat shut in the house because "she" always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

    The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

    A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.

    "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid was hiding under the bed. I Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!" The cabdriver hit a parked car...
  • The Loyal Wife! The Loyal Wife! There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money...
  • The Finest Archer The Finest Archer A Duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack...
  • Ocean of Beer Ocean of Beer Two Aussies, Hugo and Jake, were adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Hugo stumbled across an old lamp...
  • 'F ' in Sex ! Little Johnny asks his mother how old she is. Her reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question...
  • The Killer Jigsaw Puzzle One morning a blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can`t...