|Absolutely naked woman enters the pub. Barman looks at her very attentively.|
Woman: Hey, what`s up? Haven`t you ever seen naked woman?
Barman: Well, yes I have... I`m only interested - where will you take your cash from?
|This guy goes into a bar and sees a sign over the bar with a picture of a man and the words "World`s Champ". |
The guy walks up to the bar and asks what the picture is all about. The bartender tells him that the guy is the Champ because he drank 39 pints of beer in one hour.
The guy says "I can beat that record."
He sits down and begins. He knocks back ten pints pretty fast. He is feeling drunk, but still in control. He gets 10 more down. He`s pretty messed up, but still coherent. He gets down the next ten, and a crowd gathers around. He gets down 5 more, and the crowd starts cheering. He is fading in and out of consciousness at this point. He blacks out as he breaks the record.
He comes into the bar the next day, looking like hell. Sure enough his picture has replaced the previous one. The bartender congratulates him and offers him a round on the house.
He says "No way dude, last night I blew Chunks."
The bartender says "So what, we`ve all done that. Have a round."
The guy replies "No man, you don t understand, I blew Chunks."
The bartender goes "I don`t believe this shit! You`re the Champ and you won`t drink a round because you puked? That is ridiculous!!! The guy screams "You don`t get it asshole! Chunks is my dog!"
|A drunken man comes home with his friend. Reaching near his home he shows his friend his car and says, "This is my Car, and that my door, hitch brrrr ".|
They enter into the house, he continues giving information to his friend in his drunk tone, "U know...that`s my couch, he..he..Come, come".
They take the stairs and he takes his friend to his bedroom where his wife is making love to this other guy and th`ey are both naked on the bed caught red handed. This man continues pointing towards his wife,
"Hey buddy, that woman who is lying naked is my wife and that man on top of her is ME !!!!"