|A waiter was working one night, when a beautiful Blonde was seated in his section. He went over to take her order and saw that she was crying.|
"What is wrong, miss? Are you ok?" he asked.
Wiping tears from her eyes, she looked up at him and said, "My boyfriend just dumped me, and today is my birthday. Nice gift, isn't it?"
The waiter talked with her a few moments and was able to get her to stop crying. He kept a close eye on her, and when she had finished her meal, he went into the kitchen, cut a large slice from the best cake on the menu, and stuck a candle in it. He lit the candle and brought it to her table. She looked very happy, and he was glad. He said, "Make a wish and blow!"
She closed her eyes and made her wish. Then she came up to the waiter, got down on her knees, unzipped his pants, pulled out his cock, and started sucking on it. He had no idea why she was doing this, but she was really into it, sucking away, and playing with his balls. He knew that he should stop her - they did not even know each others names - but hey, when you have got a hot blonde going down on you, are you really going to say, "No, do not do it?"
He stood there, enjoying every moment, and when she made him cum, he exploded inside her mouth, and she swallowed every drop of his huge, hot load. She looked up at him with a smile, and said, "Did you like it?"
He said, "Yes, of course, you do it great, but I am just wondering why you suddenly started sucking my cock?"
She looked confused. "Well, I was just doing what you told me to."
Now he is confused. "What I told you to?"
Smiling, she says, "Don't tell me you forgot already. You said, 'Make a wish and blow!'"
|A beautiful blonde strode angrily into the large store and slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction.|
The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?"
The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that 'Pussy Treats' are meant for 'cats'?"
|A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried.|
She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can't get to the hospital in time?"
The doctor replies, "Well, women have been having babies for a million years without a doctor in attendance. It's a very natural process. The first thing you do is to assume the same position you were laying in when you got pregnant."
The blonde interrupts with, "Do you mean with the left foot in the glove compartment and the right foot hanging out the window?"
|The voluptuous blonde was walking down a dimly lit street when a man jumped out of the bushes.|
"Give me your money," he demanded.
"I d-don't have any," she managed to reply.
"Give me your money or I'll search you!" he threatened.
She repeated that she didn't have any, then gasped as he made a tentative search.
"You'd better give me your money now," he said menacingly, "or I'm going to rally search you!"
"But I don't have any!" she protested, almost in tears.
So he really searched her. "I guess you were on the level," he finally muttered angrily.
"You don't have any money on you."
"For heaven's sake," she wailed, "don't stop now. I'll write you a check."