|A gorgeousl, size 10 blonde (droooooool) from New York went to Australia
for her vacation and booked into a VERY expensive hotel.|
She changed into her skimpy thong bikini, put on a fashionable beach shirt, beach hat, sunglasses, new sandals... You get the idea. She grabbed a large towel; her new beach bag and headed for the golden Australian sand and sun.
To her surprise the beach was very crowded. The only spot big enough to accommodate her large towel was right next to a filthy, salt encrusted bench with a seriously dirty old bum collapsed on it.
She was VERY nervous about stretching out in her bikini next to this old bum ... but it was the only available place. Anyway, she was on holiday, this was Australia and she figured she'd be safe enough!
She spread her beach towel; removed her shirt and hat; and opened her beach bag to get her sun-tan lotion. She liberally applied sun-tan lotion all over her VERY sexy, pale white body.
The bum watched intently.
She laid back on her towel to read a little. Then realized she'd forgotten to remove her new sandals. She sat up and slipped off her sandals.
As she stretched back down, the bum leaned over and asked, "Hey lady, can I smell your pussy?"
Like a released spring and, absolutely outraged, she jumped up and screamed, "Of course not! I've never been so insulted!"
"Oh!" announced the bum, "Then it must be your feet."
|A stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his replies.|
"Are you feeling OK?" he asked.
"Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet," she admitted. "Is there a name for my condition?"
"Why yes, there is," he said, as he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. "It's called 'Good News'."
|Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She had a tummy tuck, breast and butt implants, botox, collagen... the works. Ten weeks and thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman -- literally.|
Her personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new "body work." When the exam was finished, he called her in.
"Bambi, your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that often affects women your age: osteoporosis."
Bambi looked puzzled, "Osteo--what?"
"Bone loss. Many women start to experience it in their 40s."
Bambi giggled, blushed and said, "Oh, really, Doc. You've seen me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones quite often!"
|The biology professor was discussing the high glucose level of semen when a blonde co-ed raised her hand.|
"Are you saying there's a lot of sugar in male semen?"
"Correct," responded the professor, adding more statistical material.
The same girl raised her hand again, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
The entire class burst out laughing, her face turned bright red, she said not a word, picked up her books, and walked straight out of class never to return.
As she left, the professor added with a straight face, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue, not in the back of your throat!"