• Age-Defying Makeover

    Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She went to the best plastic surgeon in town and got a boob lift, a tummy tuck, butt implants, botox, collagen... the works. Ten weeks and thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman - literally.

    Her personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new "body work."

    When the exam was finished, he called her in.

    "Bambi, your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that often affects women your age, osteoporosis."

    Bambi looked puzzled, "Osteo-what?"

    "Bone loss. Many women start to experience it in their 40s."

    Bambi giggled, blushed and said, "Oh, really, Doc. You've seen me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones quite often!"
  • Beer and Boobs

    A guy walks in to a bar and sits down, just a few seats from him there is a very buxom blonde with huge size 42CC breasts.

    The guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the lady's boobs and splashes all over them...

    The bartender retrieves the glass and licks the beer off the blonde. Each time he calls for a beer, this happens. So after the third beer, he decides to help the bartender out.

    The next time the bartender hits her boobs, he jumps up and starts to lick her breasts... AND SHE DECKS HIM.

    He is laying on the floor moaning and groaning, "Jeez..then why do you let the bartender do it?"

    The blonde replies, "Because he has a liquor license."
  • Not A Natural Blonde!

    "Miss, I'm sorry but we can't employ you as a center-fold model", the editor of a men's magazine explained. "It's all too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black".

    The irate lady picked up a paperweight on his desk and proceeded to slam it down on the editor's fingers.

    "What the hell did you do that for !" he exploded.

    She smiled sweetly and said "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And they've only been banged once."
  • Screw and Bolt!

    On the first day of the school term the shop teacher was surprised to see a rather proper-looking young lady sitting in the front row of his classroom. Her name was Emily and she was the only girl to sign up for the woodwork class.

    The bemused teacher asked her if she was sure she was in the right class. Emily assured him that she was.

    The teacher, still somewhat puzzled, added, "This course may be a bit out of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?"

    "What exactly do you mean?" Emily asked.

    "Well, for example, do you know the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the teacher expounded.

    After pondering for a moment, Emily admitted, "I can't really say, since I've never been 'bolted'."