|A blonde and her girlfriend went to the beach for the day. As they wandered up and down the shoreline in their bikinis the girlfriend began to notice that the blonde seemed to be having some difficulty walking.|
The girlfriend finally said, "Did you hurt your leg or something? You`re walking very strangely."
The blonde replied, "I have a big date tonight and I"ve got curlers in my hair."
|To prepare for his big date, the young man went up to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his "tool of the trade".|
The young man was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a homecooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man`s sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his johnson immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed,
"So that`s how you guys load those things!"
|A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.|
A policeman approaches her and says, "Madam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "Oh my God, I left the baby on the bus again!"
|A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong with her car. |
Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse.
She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door.
When the farmer answers, she says to him, "Oh, it s Sunday night and my car broke down! I don t know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?" "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don t want you messin with my sons, Jed and Luke." She looks through the screen door and sees two husky young men standing behind the farmer.
She judges them to be in their early twenties.
"Okay," she says.
After they have gone to bed for the night, the woman begins to get a little excited thinking about the two husky boys in the room next to her.
So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don t want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these." She puts condoms on the boys and the three of them make love all night long.
Forty years later, Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth.
Jed says, "Luke? You remember that blond woman that came by here about forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah," says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care any more if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed. "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not." "Me, neither," says Jed, "Let s take these things off."