• For Lonely Nights

    A newlywed husband had to go on a business trip, and hated to leave his gorgeous, sexy very blonde wife alone. The night before he left, he brought home a vibrator and gave it to her.

    "What's this for?" she asked.

    "It's for those lonely nights when you miss me," explained her husband, winking. "Just think of it as something to take my place when you get horny."

    A week later, hubby returns home, and finds the vibrator in the garbage.

    "Honey," he says, "why did you throw it away? I told you, you should use it in my place when I'm gone."

    "I did," she said. "But the damned thing rattled all my fillings loose."
  • Cock-eyed Blonde

    A young woman visited her eye doctor complaining of failing eyesight. The doctor sat her in front of a standard eye chart.

    Doctor, "Can you read the bottom line?"

    Girl, "No."

    "Can you read the center line?"

    "No."

    "Can you read the large top line?"

    "No. "

    "Can you even see the chart?"

    "No."

    The doctor is clearly frustrated and whips his penis out of his pants. "Can you see this?"

    "Of course!"

    "Well, there's your problem - you're cock-eyed!"
  • It's Not a Problem

    "Let us assume," said the professor, "that you are aboard a small craft alone in the Pacific, and you spot a vessel approaching you with several thousand sex-starved sailors on board.

    What would you do in this situation to avoid any problem?"

    "I would attempt to turn my craft in the opposite direction," stated the brunette.

    "I would pass them, trusting my knife and a bottle of mace to keep me safe," responded the redhead.

    "Frankly" murmured the blonde, "I understand the situation, but I fail to see the problem."
  • Insemination Man

    A blond City girl named Amy marries a N. Dakota rancher.

    One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"



    The rancher leaves for the fields. After awhile, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.

    Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."

    The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blond, asks, "Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?"

    "That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently.

    Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?"

    The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."