|A waiter was working one night, when a beautiful Blonde was seated in his section. He went over to take her order, and saw that she was crying.|
"What's wrong, miss? Are you ok?" he asked.
Wiping tears from her eyes, she looked up at him and said, "My boyfriend just dumped me, and today is my birthday. Nice gift, isn't it?"
The waiter talked with her a few moments, and was able to get her to stop crying. He kept a close eye on her, and when she had finished her meal, he went into the kitchen, cut a large slice from the best cake on the menu, and stuck a candle in it. He lit the candle, and brought it to her table. She looked very happy, and he was glad.
He said, "Make a wish and blow!"
She closed her eyes, and made her wish. Then she came up to the waiter, got down on her knees, unzipped his pants, pulled out his cock, and started sucking on it. He had no idea why she was doing this, but she was really into it, sucking away, and playing with his balls. He knew that he should stop her-they didn't even know each others names-but hey, when you've got a hot blonde sucking on your cock, like you're really going to say, no don't suck it.
He stood there, enjoying every moment, and when she made him cum, he exploded inside her mouth, and she swallowed every drop of his huge, hot load. She looked up at him with a smile, and said, "Did you like it?"
He said, "Yes, of course, you suck cock great... but I'm just wondering why you suddenly started sucking my cock?"
She looked confused. "Well, I was just doing what you told me to."
Now he's confused. "What I told you to?"
Smiling, she says, "Don't tell me you forgot already... You said, 'Make a wish and blow!'"
|Three blondes are talking about their boyfriends.|
"It's funny," says Samantha, "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm giving him a blowjob!"
"You know what?" replies Jenny, "It's exactly the same with my Richard!"
They turn to the third blonde and ask: "When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, also?"
"Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put his thing in my mouth!"
"You're crazy," one of the blondes pipes up. "A good blowjob is the best way to keep a guy! You should try it!"
She says she'll think about it.
The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blowjob novice is sporting a wicked shiner.
"Whoa!" the first blonde asks, "How did you get that black eye?!"
"Chris hit me when I was blowing him," she said.
"What on earth for?!" the second blonde asks.
"I don't know," she replies. "All I did was tell him how strange it was that his balls were so warm, seeing as Pete and Richard's are so cold!"
|Wanting a portrait with which to surprise his wife, a businessman asked a blonde female painter he'd been recommended to paint him in the nude.|
"No," the talented blonde artist said. "I don"t do that sort of thing".
"But what if I double your fee?" he pleaded.
"Nope, sorry. Won't do it".
"How about I give you five times what you normally get?"
"Oh, okay then," said the artist, "but I'm keeping my socks on. I need a place to put my brushes."
|A blonde and her redhead friend were talking about sex...|
Blonde: Tell me, what is sex ?
Redhead: Sex is when you dress up, go to a bar, flirt with a guy, he buys you drinks. You go to bed and he leaves some money on your table.
Blonde: And what is good sex ?
Redhead: Good sex is when you dress up, go to a bar, flirt with a guy, he buys you drinks. You go to bed and he leaves lots of money on your table.
Blonde: And what is love ? Redhead: Love - That's an ethnic minority invention to avoid leaving money on the table.