|The minister, all fired up because of recent obvious problems of infidelity, shouted out, "I want everyone who has been heing and sheing to stand up!"|
Half of his congregation stood up.
He then shouted out, "I want everyone who has been heing and heing to stand up!"
A couple of men stood up.
He then shouted out, "I want everyone who has been sheing and sheing to stand up!"
Several women stood up.
The minister looked over his congregation and noticed that everyone was standing except Little Johnny.
The minister shouted out, "Brothers and Sisters, look at Little Johnny, can he be the only one without sin? Little Johnny, stand up… I guess you are the only one here who isn't preoccupied with sex and committing sins. What do you have to say!"
Little Johnny replied, "Reverend, you ain't said nothing about meing and meing!"
|Little Johnny was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and though the crime seemed highly improbable, the evidence was overwhelming.|
As a last, desperate move, the defense counsel came over to the witness stand, pulled down Little Johnny's pants, and grabbed his tiny penis for all to see.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried, turning toward the jury box, "surely you cannot believe that such a small, still undeveloped organ is sexually mature?"
Growing more agitated he went on, "How could this miniature member be capable even of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown woman."
"WATCH IT," yelped Little Johnny. "One more shake and you'll lose the case!"
|Little Johnny was sitting in class one day when he asked his teacher a question, "Please Miss," he said, "What's a Penis?"|
The teacher thought it was an excellent question so she told the whole class that it would be their homework for the night.
When little Johnny got home he immediately went to his father and asked him what a penis is.
His father undid his trousers and said, "Look son, that's a penis."
Johnny was very pleased that it had been so easy to do his homework.
The next morning, on his way to school he met Mary but she was in floods of tears.
"Why are you crying?" he asked.
"Well I wasn't able to do my homework," she sobbed.
"Nobody would tell me what a penis is."
"OK, I'll help you," said little Johnny.
As he undid his trousers he said to Mary, "Look, you see this? Well, this is a Dick. A penis is about three inches shorter!"
|A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor.|
"Are you my doctor?", he asked.
"Yes, I am."
The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth."
He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?"
"Yes, I am," she said.
"Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said.
He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?"
"Yes, I am," his father answered.
The baby motioned him closer, then poked him repeatedly on the forehead with his index finger and said, "Hurts, doesn't it?"