• Wow, It's Dark Here!

    A small boy is wandering in a hotel, and hearing some noises decides to open a door. He says "Wow, it's dark here!"

    You can imagine that there's a man with a woman in bed in that room... The man asks, "What do you want? Here's a pound, leave us alone."

    A bit latter, the boy goes back again, opens the door, and says: "Wow, it's dark here!"

    "Not you again! Here, take this and go buy yourself something." And the boy goes out with 2 pounds.

    The following morning, the boy feels some remorse, and tells what happened to his mother. She says: "That's wrong. You should go to the church, and confess yourself."

    So there he goes. Entering the booth, he says: "Wow, it's dark here!"

    To which the priest says: "Not you again, are you following me around?"
  • Cow Breeding

    Little Johnny's father had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so he borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture. He told Johnny to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished.

    "Yeah daddy," said little Johnny.

    After a while little Johnny came into the living room where his father was talking with some friends.

    "Say, Pop," said little Johnny. "Yes," replied his father. "The bull just fucked the brown cow."

    There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said "Excuse me" and took little Johnny outside.

    "Son, you mustn't use language like that in front of company. You should say 'The bull surprised the brown cow'. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull surprises the white cow."

    The father went back inside the house.

    After a while little Johnny came in and said, "Hey, Dad." "Yes, son. Did the bull surprise the white cow?"

    "He sure did, Pop! He fucked the brown cow again!"
  • 'Porky' The Dog

    Six year old Debra was walking her dog when she passed the temple where she and her family attended services.

    As she approached her Rabbi came out the temple door and said, "Shalom Debra, I see the tooth fairy visited you again."

    "Yes Rabbi, and she left me a dollar under my pillow." said the six year politely. She then said, "Rabbi have you met my dog Porky?"

    The old Rabbi chuckled. "I'll bet a nickel I can guess why you call him Porky."

    She shook her head, "I'll bet you can't."

    He laughed and said, "You called him Porky because he's so big and fat."

    Debra shook her head. "No Rabbi, we call him that because he fucks pigs."
  • The Hungover Lineman

    The telephone lineman had been out drinking the night before, and the next day he went to work not feeling too good. He climbed to the top of the first pole and as he took his pliers out to repair the wire he dropped them.

    He had to climb all the way down to retrieve them.

    As he got to the bottom of the pole and was picking up his pliers, a small boy who was standing there said, `My daddy is a lineman, too, and he would have had two pair of pliers, so he wouldn't have to climb down the pole if he dropped one of them."

    The lineman tied to ignore the boy and climbed back up the pole very slowly.

    About this time he needed a hammer to drive in a large nail. As he was taking it out, it slipped and fell to the ground. Again he had to climb down the pole to retrieve it.

    So he slowly climbed down the pole and sure enough the little boy was still standing there. He said, "My daddy is a lineman, too, and he would have carried two hammers so if he had lost one he wouldn't have to climb down."

    This irritated the lineman, but he ignored the boy and climbed back up the pole to finish his work. He was no sooner up the pole when he had to go to the bathroom, so down he climbs from the pole and goes over to the bushes to take a leak.

    As he was relieving himself he saw the little boy watching him through the bushes.

    He'd had it with this kid so he says to him, "I'll bet your dad doesn't have two of these, does he?"

    The boy replied, "No, but his would make two of yours."