• Tonsillectomy vs Circumcision

    Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.

    The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

    The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

    The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was 4. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."

    The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

    The first kid says, "A circumcision."

    And the second kid says, "Whoa...! Good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."
  • Fuck-Hour

    It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy, "My name is Bob Fuckhauer."

    Upset, the teacher said very loudly, "THERE'LL BE NONE OF THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR IN MY CLASS THIS YEAR, now Bob; tell me your real name!"

    The kid said, "No, really teacher, it is Bob Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask my brother if you don't believe me!"

    Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing, the teacher went across the hall and knocked on the fourth grade classroom door.

    The fourth grade teacher had stepped down the hall to the front office for a moment, so she entered the room and directly asked the class, "Do you have Fuckhauer in here?"

    "Hell no!" replied a little kid from the front row, "We don't even get a damn cookie break!"
  • Fuck-Hour

    It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy, "My name is Bob Fuckhauer."

    Upset, the teacher said very loudly, "THERE'LL BE NONE OF THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR IN MY CLASS THIS YEAR, now Bob; tell me your real name!"

    The kid said, "No, really teacher, it is Bob Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask my brother if you don't believe me!"

    Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing, the teacher went across the hall and knocked on the fourth grade classroom door.

    The fourth grade teacher had stepped down the hall to the front office for a moment, so she entered the room and directly asked the class, "Do you have Fuckhauer in here?"

    "Hell no!" replied a little kid from the front row, "We don't even get a damn cookie break!"
  • Wear a Rubber

    A Rabbi's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the Rabbi's family expanded, so would his pay check.

    After six children, this started to get expensive, and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the Rabbi's expanding salary.

    A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the Rabbi's additional children were costing the shul, and how much more it could potentially cost.

    After listening to them for about an hour, the Rabbi rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."

    Silence fell on the congregation.

    In the back of the shul, little old Mrs. Goldberg struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, "RAIN is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers!"
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