• Getting hard!

    One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn`t figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam.
    All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn`t understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally he caught up to him and asked why he ran away.
    The boy said to his friend," My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard so I ran."
  • The icing on the cake!

    A little boy and his mom are walking throw the park and saw two teenagers doing it on a park bench.
    The boy asked his mom, mommy what are they doing. She said oh honey they`re baking cakes.
    The next day they go to the zoo and see two monkeys goning at it. The boy asked mommy what are they doing. She said, oh honey there baking cakes.
    So a few days pass by and the little boy says, "Mommy I know what you and daddy where doing on the couch last night."
    She said, "Honey, how do you know what we were doing?."
    He said, "you were baking cakes." The mom said, "how do you know we were baking cakes."
    the son says, "Becuase I licked the iceing off the couch."
  • Home work!

    The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member).
    A wise student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
    The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you`ll have to learn to write with your other hand."
  • Dad explains sex!

    Son: "Dad, why does love-making makes you feels good?"
    Dad: "Just like digging in your nose, it`s feels good, right!"
    Son: "Why is it that guys don`t usually feel as good as gals?"
    Dad: "Just like when you dig in your nose, it`s your nose that feel good, not your finger!"
    Son: "Then why do gals feel bad when they are raped?"
    Dad: "If a stranger comes along and digs in your nose, will you feel the same way?"
    Son: "When girls are having their menstruation, why don`t they usually want to have sex?"
    Dad: "If your nose is bleeding, will you still want your nose to be dug?"
    Son: "Dad, one last question ... why don`t guys like to wear condoms when they make love?"
    Dad: "Would you want to wear a glove when you dig your nose?"