• I`m coming!!

    Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest?"
    Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn`t forget.
    The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she`ll float to heaven."
    Johnny thinks that`s neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks later, Johnny`s dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically,
    "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy`s dying!"
    His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy`s dying?"
    "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy`s balloons and she`s screaming `Oh God, I`m coming!"
  • Too long!!

    One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her cleavage.
    She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about you,Johnny?"
    "Milk!" answered Little Johnny.
    "No, I`m sorry. That`s the wrong answer. Roses drink water," explained the teacher.
    "Wow!", Johnny exclaimed, "I didn`t know the stem was that long!"
  • Getting hard!

    One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn`t figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam.
    All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn`t understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally he caught up to him and asked why he ran away.
    The boy said to his friend," My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard so I ran."
  • The icing on the cake!

    A little boy and his mom are walking throw the park and saw two teenagers doing it on a park bench.
    The boy asked his mom, mommy what are they doing. She said oh honey they`re baking cakes.
    The next day they go to the zoo and see two monkeys goning at it. The boy asked mommy what are they doing. She said, oh honey there baking cakes.
    So a few days pass by and the little boy says, "Mommy I know what you and daddy where doing on the couch last night."
    She said, "Honey, how do you know what we were doing?."
    He said, "you were baking cakes." The mom said, "how do you know we were baking cakes."
    the son says, "Becuase I licked the iceing off the couch."