|Little Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he`d done so well during the year that the teacher suggested to the principal that they gave him an oral exam to make up for the test he missed. The principal agreed so they called Little Johnny into the office and explained to him what they were going to do.|
First the teacher asked, "Johnny, what does a cow have four of, that I only have two of?"
Little Johnny replied, "Legs."
Next the teacher asked, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I don`t have in my pants?"
Little Johnny replied, "Pockets."
Finally the teacher asked, "Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?"
Little Johnny replied. "Rome."
The teacher turned to the principal and asked," What do you think, should we pass him?"
The principal replied, "Better not ask me, I got the first two wrong."
|A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother."|
"Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother," said her mom, "but there isn`t time before your birthday."
The little girl replied, "Why don`t you do like they do down at Daddy`s factory when they want something in a hurry ----- put more men on the job."
|Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest?"|
Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn`t forget.
The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she`ll float to heaven."
Johnny thinks that`s neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks later, Johnny`s dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically,
"Daddy! Daddy! Mommy`s dying!"
His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy`s dying?"
"Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy`s balloons and she`s screaming `Oh God, I`m coming!"
|One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her cleavage.|
She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about you,Johnny?"
"Milk!" answered Little Johnny.
"No, I`m sorry. That`s the wrong answer. Roses drink water," explained the teacher.
"Wow!", Johnny exclaimed, "I didn`t know the stem was that long!"