• Malnourished Kid

    A lady marched into the doctors office with a tiny miserable baby that was howling at the top of its lungs and demanded, "Do something about this baby."

    After a quick examination, the doctor realized the baby was malnourished.

    "He's obviously not getting enough milk," he said sternly, "is he being breast fed?"

    "Yes," replied the lady.

    "Then the milk supply isn't adequate. Please take your blouse off."

    The woman obliged, and the doctor proceeded to give her a very thorough breast exam, kneading, rubbing, massaging, and sucking each breast at some length.

    Finally, perplexed, he announced that he could see why there was a problem. "You aren't producing any milk at all."

    "Of course not," she responded. "It's my sister's kid."

    "Why on earth did you come?" asked the doctor in amazement.

    "I didn't," she replied, "until you started sucking on the other tit."
  • Rings Around The Penis

    Two very nervous men got to talking in the doctor's waiting room.

    They discovered they had similar symptoms: one had a red ring around the base of his penis and the other one had a green ring.

    The fellow with the red ring was examined first. In a few minutes he came out, all smiles, and said, "Don't worry, man, it's nothing."

    Vastly relived, the second man went into the examining room, only to be told a few minutes later by the doctor, "I'm sorry, but you have an advanced case of VD. I'm afraid you'll have to be castrated."

    Turning white, the young man gasped, "But the first guy... he said it was no big deal!"

    "Well, you know," said the doctor, "there's a big difference between gangrene and lipstick."
  • How to Treat Discharge?

    Mrs. Cohn went to see her doctor. When he inquired about her complaint she replied that she suffered from a discharge.

    He said, "Get undressed, Mrs. Cohn, and lie down on the examining table."

    She did, whereupon the doctor put on rubber gloves and began to massage her "private parts."

    After a couple of minutes he asked, "How does that feel?"
    "Wonderful," she replied, "But the discharge is from the ear."
  • Special Bra for Large Breasts

    A woman went to a plastic surgeon because she wanted bigger breasts. The doctor gave her the choice of either having expensive implant surgery or wearing a special bra.

    The doctor explained, "When you flap your arms up and down, the bra inflates."

    She chose the bra.

    The next day, she went to a dance club to try the new bra out. She saw an attractive man sitting at the end of the bar.

    She strolled over to flirt with him and flapped her arms at the same time to inflate the bra.

    On seeing her approach, he stood up, started flapping his knees together and said, "I see that we have the same doctor."