• Keep Off The Grass

    A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered.

    It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass."

    Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
  • Smallest Penis!

    Joining a new company, Dave had to take a physical with the company doctor.

    All the tests came out fine but, after a brief hesitation, the doctor noted that Dave had the smallest penis he'd ever seen. "Tell me," he said, "Do you have any difficulties with it being so small?"

    "No," Dave said. "I've got a great wife, three kids, and a normal sex life. I guess the only problem I ever have is finding it when I need to urinate."

    "And yet you still have a normal sex life?"

    "That's not a problem," Dave said, "because there's TWO of us looking for it then."
  • What Does a Gynecologist Do?

    An old woman was taken to a gynecologist for the very first time, and of course the gynecologist was a very young and handsome fellow. The doctor was very thorough in his examination, and of course the old woman was quite embarrassed throughout the whole examination. Finally, the exam was over and the doctor told her to get dressed and come in to his office to talk about his findings.

    The old woman listened intently as the doctor gave her the results. She then said she really only had one question for him.

    The doctor said, "What is the question you have?"

    "Tell me young man, does your mother know how you make a living?"
  • The Persistent Erection

    A guy walked into the doctor's office for an appointment.

    "Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty receptionist asked.

    "I'll need the information for the doctor."

    "It's rather embarrassing," the guy stammered. "You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection."

    "Well, the doctor is very busy today," the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze you in."