|A guy walked into the doctor's office for an appointment.|
"Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty receptionist asked.
"I'll need the information for the doctor."
"It's rather embarrassing," the guy stammered. "You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection."
"Well, the doctor is very busy today," the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze you in."
|A vet received a phone call very late one Saturday night. "Please come quick," a very agitated voice on the other end said. "My dog has swallowed a condom."|
"Is he in distress?" the vet asked."
"You don't understand," the voice said. "My dog has swallowed a condom."
"Yes, but unless the thing has lodged in his throat it will probably pass through his system without harming the animal."
"Please come quick," the voice went on undeterred. "The dog has swallowed a condom and my girlfriend is getting very distressed."
Eventually the vet gave in and promised that he would come round right away. He was just putting his coat on when the phone rang again. "About the dog that swallowed the condom," said the voice, it was a lot calmer now. "Panic over, we've found another one in the drawer.
|A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations.|
The operation is performed, but a month later, she's still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat more serious operation, but still not as complicated as the third alternative.
But, there's still no result, and another month later she's back in the doctors office, and this time she gets the big one.
After having recovered in some weeks, the couple resumes normal marital activities, and this time they actually succeed in conceiving a baby.
Filled with joy, the young wife now sees the doctor for the regular examination during pregnancy and says, "We're so happy doctor, we're finally having a baby. But what was this third operation actually all about? The first two weren't that bad, but this last one I think must have been quite a job, I was dizzy for weeks after."
"Well," the doctor replies, "since the first two standard operations failed, we started suspecting your method rather than your ability, so I made a connection from your throat to your uterus."
|A man had an accident, so he was rushed to the hospital. The doctor had to perform an instant operation, due to his injuries. The man was wounded on the face and a deep scar was formed on his skin, but under his bushy beard. The doctor shaved off a part of the man's beard and then performed the surgery.|
Afterwards, the doctor performed more surgery to replace the missing part of the beard, so he would look good as new. The doctor cut off some of the man's pubic hair and planted it surgically on the man's face where the beard was missing.
The patient awakened and then after 2-3 days, he was discharged and he went back home.
After six months, the patient came to the hospital to talk to the doctor who performed his operation. The patient said, "Doc, everything is okay, but a peculiar thing has happened to me many times."
The doctor asks, "What is happening?"
The patient replies, "Whenever I scratch my beard, my penis gets erect!"