• Heart Transplant Surgery

    A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.

    The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who was going to perform the operation and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"

    The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"

    The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"

    "Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"
  • No Breast Milk

    She was beautiful, blonde and buxom - a perfect specimen of womanhood - with a small baby in her arms. He was in his first day in private practice, eager to show he knew all about everything.

    "What's seems to be the problem?", he asked in his best medical manner.

    "It's the baby", she said, "He seems under-nourished."

    Earnestly the doctor carried out an extensive examination of the baby and then asked, "Is he breast-fed?" "Yes doctor, he is", she replied.

    "Will you strip off to the waist now, please?" the doctor said.

    The young woman looked at the doctor somewhat anxiously, and began to protest. "But doctor... "

    The doctor simply brushed her protestations aside by saying, "it is better to look at everything... so if you wouldn't mind?"

    Blushing with embarrassment, she took off her blouse and bra, revealing a perfect pair of large, firm breasts. The young doctor professionally weighed each one in his hands, stroked them forward and back, and then gently flicked each nipple in turn for a few moments, finally lightly squeezing them between his fingers and thumb.

    Ah!", he said, as his face broke into a knowing smile. "That's the problem, you do not have one little bit of milk!"

    "Oh doctor, that's not the problem", she replied, "I'm just the baby-sitter - but it sure has been a REAL pleasure meeting you!"
  • Ring Around The Penis

    Two very nervous men got to talking in the doctor's waiting room. They discovered they had similar symptoms: one had a red ring around the base of his penis and the other one had a green ring. The fellow with the red ring was examined first.

    In a few minutes he came out, all smiles, and said, "Don't worry, man, it's nothing."

    Vastly relived, the second man went into the examining room, only to be told a few minutes later by the doctor, "I'm sorry, but you have an advanced case of VD. I'm afraid you'll have to be castrated."

    Turning white, the young man gasped, "But the first guy... he said it was no big deal!"

    "Well, you know," said the doctor, "there's a big difference between gangrene and lipstick."
  • Nymphomaniac Wife

    Bob took his nymphomaniac wife to the doctor for treatment. "This Is one hot potato of a lady, Doctor," he said. "Maybe you can do something for her? She goes for any man, and I get very jealous. Killed four guys already."

    "We'll see," the doctor said. He directed the missus into his examining room, closed the door behind him and told her to undress. Then he told her to get up onto the examining table on her stomach.

    The moment he touched her buttocks, she began to moan and squirm. It Was too much for him to resist, and he climbed up on top of her and began to screw her.

    Bob heard moans and groans coming from the room. Unable to control himself, he pushed open the door, only to be confronted by the sight of the doctor astride his wife banging away.

    "Doctor, what are you doing?" he asked.

    The flustered doctor said, "Oh, it's you, Bob? I'm only taking your wife's temperature!"

    Bob opened his switchblade knife and began to wipe it on his sleeve very deliberately.

    "Ok Doc,....." he said, "but when you take that thing out, it better have numbers on it!"