• Artificial Insemination

    After considerable soul searching and having determined that the husband was infertile, the childless couple decided to give artificial insemination a try. When the woman arrived at the clinic, she was told to undress from the waist down, get on the table and place her feet in the stirrups.

    She was feeling very uneasy about the whole procedure when the doctor entered the room. The sight of him pulling down his pants certainly didn't help to diminish her anxiety.

    "Wait just a minute!" she yelped, pulling herself into an upright position. "What the hell is going on here?"

    "You want to get pregnant, don't you?" the doctor asked.

    "Well, yes, I do," she replied.

    "Then lie back down and spread 'em," instructed the doctor.

    "We're all out of the bottled stuff, so you're going to have to settle for what's on tap!"
  • Doggie Style

    An 80 yr old man just got married with a young wife.

    Fearing with all the sex that he is having with his new bride, he seeks Doctor's advice on the best way to deal with it.

    Oldman: Doc, I am 80 and am sexually active again. What's the best way to have safe sex without getting heart attack...??

    Doctor: At your age , I highly recommend you to use 'The Dog Style'...

    Oldman: Doc, are you serious?? My back is weak.. How can you advice me to do Doggie Style?

    Doctor: I said Dog Style... not Doggie style. Dog style - just sniff the pussy...
  • What's a Phallus?

    Rose had come to see Dr. Hardy. When the psychiatrist began using sexual terms, she interrupted, "Wait, what is a phallic symbol?"

    "A phallic symbol," explained Hardy, "represents the phallus."

    "What's a phallus?" asked Rose.

    "Well," said the analyst, "The best way to explain it is to show you."

    He stood up, unzipped his fly and took out his pecker.

    "This is a phallus."

    "Oh, I get it," said Rose. "It's the word for a very small penis.
  • Medication Error

    A man was suffering from a stomach ache, so he told his wife who suggested he try the tablets the doctor had given her for a similar pain.

    After taking his wife's tablets for a week, the pain disappeared but he developed two rather tender lumps, one behind each ear.

    He went to his doctor, showed him the lumps, and explained what had happened.

    Whereby the Doctor called him all the fools under the sun, saying, "You bloody idiot! I was treating your wife for a fallen womb, God knows how I'm going to get your balls back down."