• Not Getting Pregnant!

    In a small rural town the local doctor is known for his abrupt bed-side manners. His last appointment for the Friday afternoon shows up a bit late, and he is more agitated than normally.

    "Yeah, you're late sit down and speak up!" he greets the woman.

    "Doctor, I'm having difficulty falling pregnant, I've been trying for years and to no success."

    The doctor doesn't look up and says, "Good get rid of the clothes and go lie on the examination table, and be quick about it. I'm in a hurry."

    So the woman walks over to the bed and as she was undressing she slowly and very unsurely says, "Doctor, I actually would have preferred the baby to be my husband's."
  • Freaking Awesome Shit

    After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend, Jerry remembered he had a dentist appointment.

    He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times, used dental floss 8 times & on top of that gargled 1 liter of mouth wash listerine.

    As he arrived at the dentist he sucked two strong mint chocolates. His turn came up and the dentist told him to take a seat.

    Feeling confident and relaxed, Jerry opened his mouth wide.

    The dentist got close enough and said, "Man, did you have 69 before you came here?"

    Jerry asked, "Why? Does my breath smell like pussy?" The dentist replied, "No, your forehead smells like shit."
  • Old Gynecologist

    One woman says to another, "I can't understand why you haven't gone to see that new gynecologist yet!"

    "My gynecologist is fine. I don't need to change."

    "But the new one's so young and handsome. While your gynecologist is so old!"

    The other woman replies with a smile, "Yeah, I know. His hands shake all the time!"
  • The Prostate Exam

    Larry went to his urologist for his exam but was surprised to learn his doctor had a new partner, a gorgeous female urologist. She explained that she was going to handle his prostate exam.

    "Larry, please lie on your right side, bend your knees, take a deep breath and say 'one hundred.'"

    Larry did so.

    Then she said, "Okay, now roll over onto your left side, bend your knees, take a deep breath and say 'one hundred.'"

    Again, Larry did so.

    Then she said, "Very good. Now lie on your back with your knees slightly elevated. I will check your prostate with one hand I hold your penis with my other hand. Good. Now take a deep breath and say 'one hundred.'"

    Larry said, "One... two... three..."