|A young woman visited her eye doctor complaining of failing eyesight. The doctor sat her in front of a standard eye chart.|
Doctor: Can you read the bottom line?
Doctor: Can you read the center line?
Doctor: Can you read the large top line?
Doctor: Can you even see the chart?
The doctor is clearly frustrated and whips his penis out of his pants. Can you see this?
Girl: Of course!
Doctor: Well, there's your problem - you're cock-eyed!
|The nurse at the Pathology Clinic was getting a bit beyond it. She was approaching retirement and was continually getting things mixed up.|
One day, a young man came to the laboratory for a blood test. After a few minutes, the pathologist looked in on the nurse and his patient. There she was, rapidly stroking the very happy young man's firm erection.
"Good God, NO!" shouted the pathologist. "Stop it at once! I said, 'Prick his Finger'."
|An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...|
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc ?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.
"I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge...
"He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'Bang, Bang'...
"Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied , "My point exactly."
|A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway.|
When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front of and facing a full length mirror. The young woman was even more shocked but if it would help solve her problem she thought she had better do what the doctor said.
As soon as she was in position the doctor asked her to open her legs and when she did he put his head between them and rested his chin right on her private parts. After a few moments and some very positive 'yes, yes' type noises the doctor instructed her to get dressed again.
Afterwards, the doctor sat her down and informed her that the main cause of her problem was just that she was drinking far too much liquid before going to bed.
"So what did the exercise in front of the mirror tell you?" she asked.
"Well," said the doctor, "my wife is right, a beard would suit me."