• Red and Green Rings

    Two very nervous men got to talking in the doctor's waiting room.

    They discovered they had similar symptoms: one had a red ring around the base of his 'you know what' and the other one had a green ring.

    The fellow with the red ring was examined first. In a few minutes he came out, all smiles, and said, "Don't worry, man, it's nothing."

    Vastly relived, the second man went into the examining room, only to be told a few minutes later by the doctor, "I'm sorry, but you have an advanced case of VD. I'm afraid you'll have to be castrated."

    Turning white, the young man gasped, "But the first guy... he said it was no big deal!"

    "Well, you know," said the doctor, "there's a big difference between gangrene and lipstick."
  • The Pharmacists' Convention

    The madam had assembled some of her girls for the men in town for the pharmacists' convention.

    "This is Dolores," she smiled, "for $250 I can promise you an exciting evening starting with a hot tub."

    "And this is Connie, available for $375. She's rigged an Oriental Swing in her room.

    "Now lovely Maria," she continued, "can be yours for both straight and kinky sex, including bondage. She's yours for the night for only $300."

    "And if you take a fancy to tantalizing Jenny here, why she can..."

    "Just a minute." interrupted one of the druggists. "Don't you have any generic ones?"
  • A Contagious Disease

    A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked that was the problem, she responded, "Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my nipples get hard."

    Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath, then asked, "Your nipples get hard?"

    "Yes" quite innocently came her reply.

    "Undress so I can check" replied the still amazed doc.

    So, she undressed, and he got down to the feeling and massaging, trying to reach an answer.

    After some considerable time, the doctor, still looked puzzled, said, "Well madame, I don't know what you have, but it sure as hell is contagious!"
  • Add A Dick To Me

    A medical student just finished her last semester and was heading out to apply to a hospital. The director of the hospital thought the woman was very bright and had a lot of potential. But the doctor wanted to ask her a few questions just to quiz her.

    "Well." said the doctor, "you seem very qualified. But a few questions before we make anything definite, ok?"

    "Of course," said the woman.

    "Ok, what do we call the operation of removing your tonsils?" asked the director.

    "That's easy," the woman said, "A tonsillectomy."

    "Very good. Ok, What is the removal of your appendix called?" the director continued.

    "I believe that is an appendectomy," the woman said confidently.

    "Good job. One more. What do we call a sex change operation?" the director asked.

    Now the woman was very intelligent and she learned every medical term known to man, but for some reason she could not remember what a sex change operation was called. She sat staring at the wall for some time before the director began to get anxious.

    "Do you know?" he asked repeatedly.

    Regaining her composure she finally smiled and said, "Of course, that would be addadictome."