|A man was suffering from a stomach ache, so he told his wife who suggested he try the tablets the doctor had given her for a similar pain.|
After taking his wife's tablets for a week, the pain disappeared but he developed two rather tender lumps, one behind each ear.
He went to his doctor, showed him the lumps, and explained what had happened.
Whereby the Doctor called him all the fools under the sun, saying, "You bloody idiot! I was treating your wife for a fallen womb, God knows how I'm going to get your balls back down."
|Anyone who's ever been to a "teaching hospital" knows to expect a group of students to descend upon them at any time.|
At one such hospital, in the recovery room, a bunch of students gathered around a beautiful blonde who, even in a gown, was obviously very well endowed.
Recovery is an excellent place for student doctors to become familiar with variations in heartbeats while the body comes back to normal from the operation and the anesthesia.
The first student approached the patient calmly and proceeded to listen intently to her heartbeat through the stethoscope.
The group was silent as he did so.
The woman hesitated, then looked sympathetically into the eyes of the doctor-to-be. Reaching up, she gently placed the earpieces into his ears.
|A lady marched into the doctors office with a tiny miserable baby that was howling at the top of its lungs and demanded, "Do something about this baby."|
After a quick examination, the doctor realized the baby was malnourished.
"He's obviously not getting enough milk," he said sternly, "is he being breast fed?"
"Yes," replied the lady.
"Then the milk supply isn't adequate. Please take your blouse off."
The woman obliged, and the doctor proceeded to give her a very thorough breast exam, kneading, rubbing, massaging, and sucking each breast at some length.
Finally, perplexed, he announced that he could see why there was a problem. "You aren't producing any milk at all."
"Of course not," she responded. "It's my sister's kid."
"Why on earth did you come?" asked the doctor in amazement.
"I didn't," she replied, "until you started sucking on the other tit."
|Two very nervous men got to talking in the doctor's waiting room.|
They discovered they had similar symptoms: one had a red ring around the base of his penis and the other one had a green ring.
The fellow with the red ring was examined first. In a few minutes he came out, all smiles, and said, "Don't worry, man, it's nothing."
Vastly relived, the second man went into the examining room, only to be told a few minutes later by the doctor, "I'm sorry, but you have an advanced case of VD. I'm afraid you'll have to be castrated."
Turning white, the young man gasped, "But the first guy... he said it was no big deal!"
"Well, you know," said the doctor, "there's a big difference between gangrene and lipstick."