|An old man, Mr. Smith, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day, he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Nancy asked if there was anything wrong.|
"Yes, Nurse Nancy," said Mr. Smith, "My 'little friend' died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh I'm so sorry, Mr. Smith. Please accept my condolences."
The following day, Mr. Smith was walking down the hall with his 'little friend' hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Nancy.
"Mr. Smith," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like this, please put your 'friend' back inside your pajamas."
"But Nurse," replied Mr. Smith, "I told you yesterday that it died."
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" asked the Nurse.
"Well," he replied. "Today's the viewing."
|A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can't believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating.|
A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman is about to go nuts. She can't believe that such a rude person exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again. He takes his wang out and wipes the tip off. The woman has finally had enough.
She turns to the man and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've removed your penis from your pants to wipe it off! What the hell kind of degenerate are you?"
The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?"
The man looks at her and says, "Pepper."
|A woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it's finally her turn. She enters the doctors' office and sits down.|
The doctor asks her, "Well, what can I do for you madam?"
The patient blushes and the doctor sees that apparently she is embarrassed.
"You can discuss any matter with me, everything is strictly confidential."
"My husband complains that my pussy smells bad, is there a cure for this?"
"Sure", the doctor says, "It can be a fungus, or a little infection, nothing unusual, please undress and lay down, so I can examine you and prescribe a treatment."
The woman undresses, gets up the table with her legs spread waits until the doctor attends her.
He comes in, walks towards here, starts gasping for air, covers his mouth and nose with a hand and runs out of the office. After a minute or so, he enters again, covering his mouth and nose with one hand an a 7 feet wooden stick with an iron hook on it in the other hand.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh, what will you do to me?" shouts the patient.
"Nothing", says the doctor, "I'm just going to open the roof window a little."
|Two deaf guys are trying to buy some condoms, but the pharmacist does not read sign.|
Frustrated they go outside to figure out a way to make him understand what they want.
Finally one of the guys gets an idea, goes into the pharmacy, whips out his member and lays his money beside it on the counter.
The pharmacist looks around to make sure no other customers are in the store, whips out his member and takes the money.
The guy goes out and signs the event to his friend.
The friend goes in to the pharmacy and comes out about five minutes later.
The first guy signs asking if he got the condoms.
The second guy signs back, "No, but I got your money back."