|A woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it's finally her turn. She enters the doctors' office and sits down.|
The doctor asks her, "Well, what can I do for you madam?"
The patient blushes and the doctor sees that apparently she is embarrassed.
"You can discuss any matter with me, everything is strictly confidential."
"My husband complains that my pussy smells bad, is there a cure for this?"
"Sure", the doctor says, "It can be a fungus, or a little infection, nothing unusual, please undress and lay down, so I can examine you and prescribe a treatment."
The woman undresses, gets up the table with her legs spread waits until the doctor attends her.
He comes in, walks towards here, starts gasping for air, covers his mouth and nose with a hand and runs out of the office. After a minute or so, he enters again, covering his mouth and nose with one hand an a 7 feet wooden stick with an iron hook on it in the other hand.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh, what will you do to me?" shouts the patient.
"Nothing", says the doctor, "I'm just going to open the roof window a little."
|Two deaf guys are trying to buy some condoms, but the pharmacist does not read sign.|
Frustrated they go outside to figure out a way to make him understand what they want.
Finally one of the guys gets an idea, goes into the pharmacy, whips out his member and lays his money beside it on the counter.
The pharmacist looks around to make sure no other customers are in the store, whips out his member and takes the money.
The guy goes out and signs the event to his friend.
The friend goes in to the pharmacy and comes out about five minutes later.
The first guy signs asking if he got the condoms.
The second guy signs back, "No, but I got your money back."
|Joe took his nymphomaniac wife to the doctor for treatment.|
"This is one hot potato of a lady, Doctor," he said. "Maybe you can do something for her? She goes for any man, and I get very jealous."
"We'll see," the doctor said. He directed her into his examining room, closed the door behind him and told her to undress. Then he told her to get up onto the examining table on her stomach.
The moment he touched her buttocks, she began to moan and squirm. It was too much for him to resist, and he climbed up on top of her and began to screw her.
Joe heard moans and groans coming from the room. Unable to control himself, he pushed open the door, only to be confronted by the sight of the doctor astride his wife banging away.
"Doctor, what are you doing?" he asked.
The flustered doctor said, "Oh, it's you, Joe? I'm only taking your wife's temperature!"
Joe opened his switchblade knife and began to wipe it on his sleeve very deliberately. "Ok Doc," he said, "but when you take that thing out, it better have numbers on it!"
|An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses.|
The Captain looked in his book of record and said, "But you just got a new pair last month!"
"Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident," stammered the private.
"Accident, what kind of an accident?"
The Captain looked in his book of Accident definitions and glossaries, "Road-march accident, Firing Range accident, PT accident, Drill accident?"
"No, no nothing of those..." said the private.
"Well then, what is it?"
"I'd rather not tell you sir..."
"Well, no satisfactory explanations, no new glasses," said the medical officer, ready to stand up, "I've to see my patients now."
"No, no sir wait, I broke them when I was kissing my girl," blurted the private.
"Don't be daft man, how could you break your glasses kissing a girl?"
"She crossed her legs....."