|Joe took his nymphomaniac wife to the doctor for treatment.|
"This is one hot potato of a lady, Doctor," he said. "Maybe you can do something for her? She goes for any man, and I get very jealous."
"We'll see," the doctor said. He directed her into his examining room, closed the door behind him and told her to undress. Then he told her to get up onto the examining table on her stomach.
The moment he touched her buttocks, she began to moan and squirm. It was too much for him to resist, and he climbed up on top of her and began to screw her.
Joe heard moans and groans coming from the room. Unable to control himself, he pushed open the door, only to be confronted by the sight of the doctor astride his wife banging away.
"Doctor, what are you doing?" he asked.
The flustered doctor said, "Oh, it's you, Joe? I'm only taking your wife's temperature!"
Joe opened his switchblade knife and began to wipe it on his sleeve very deliberately. "Ok Doc," he said, "but when you take that thing out, it better have numbers on it!"
|An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses.|
The Captain looked in his book of record and said, "But you just got a new pair last month!"
"Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident," stammered the private.
"Accident, what kind of an accident?"
The Captain looked in his book of Accident definitions and glossaries, "Road-march accident, Firing Range accident, PT accident, Drill accident?"
"No, no nothing of those..." said the private.
"Well then, what is it?"
"I'd rather not tell you sir..."
"Well, no satisfactory explanations, no new glasses," said the medical officer, ready to stand up, "I've to see my patients now."
"No, no sir wait, I broke them when I was kissing my girl," blurted the private.
"Don't be daft man, how could you break your glasses kissing a girl?"
"She crossed her legs....."
|The victim of an awful automobile accident was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital, and the emergency nurse was ordered to prepare the body for the undertaker.|
Removing his clothes, she discovered that the young man had died with the most massive erection she had ever seen. Unable to take her eyes off it, she finally yielded to temptation, took off her panties, straddled the stiff and proceeded to enjoy herself.
She was just getting down from the table when a second nurse came in and saw her and promptly reprimanded her for her obscene behaviour.
"What's the harm?" shot back the first nurse. "I enjoyed it, and he surely didn't mind it. Besides, he can't complain and I can't get pregnant. Why don't you give it a try too?"
"Oh, I can't possibly," said the second nurse, blushing. "First, he's dead and second, I've got my period. Anyway, listen, the doctor wants you."
And so the first nurse left. The second nurse got to work, but soon found herself terribly excited by this massive hard-on and finally climbed on top of it. Just as she was starting to cum, she was astonished to feel the man climax too!
Looking down and seeing his eyelids starting to flutter, she exclaimed in shock, "I thought you were dead!"
"Lady, I thought I was too," said the man, "until you gave me that blood transfusion."
|This Faggot goes to the doctor and him to test him for AIDS. A week later he goes back and the doctor confirms his worst fears - the tests showed positive.|
The fag is destroyed. He breaks down and begs the doctor to prescribe him something, anything, that'll help.
"Well," the doctor says. "Go down to the health food store and buy one kilogram of prunes, then go to the chemist and get some strong laxatives; then wander down to the supermarket and buy a bottle of Tobasco sauce and some chilli powder. Go home and mix it all together and heat it on the stove for 20 minutes.... then drink it!"
The faggot's a bit dubious, "And that'll cure the AIDS?" he asks.
"No," says the doctor smiling, "but it'll teach you what you what your arsehole is for!"