• New organ!

    A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.
    The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who was supposed to perform the operation and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about her. What if her body rejects the organ?"
    The doctor replied, "Well, she's 32 years old and is in extremely good health, apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"
    The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"
    "Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 14 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"
  • Gynecologist Painter!

    One day, a painter found himself short of help and went to the unemployment office to hire someone for the day.
    When he arrived, they didn't have any painters available, but they did have a gynecologist there. He reluctantly took him along to help.
    A couple of weeks later, the painter returned to the unemployment office needing temporary help again. This time there were two painters, but instead he asked for the gynecologist again.
    The clerk asked, "Why do you want a gynecologist when we have two professional painters you can take right now?"
    He said, "Two weeks ago when I hired the gynecologist, we arrived at the house and it was locked with nobody home. But I'll be damned if that gynecologist didn't stick his hand through the mail slot and paint the whole house!"
  • Sperm cells!

    A biology major was taking a cell biology course. The task of the day was examining epitheleal cheek cells under a microscope.
    They had to scrape the inside of their mouths with a toothpick and make a slide from it and record the different types of cells that were found.
    One girl in the class was having some trouble identifying some cells. She called the professor over to ask him.
    After a moment or two of peering in her scope, he looked up and said in a loud voice, "Those are sperm cells."
  • Nursing home sex

    Alicia and Joe were two residents of a nursing home who had been carrying on a love affair. They were both 90 years old and wheelchair bound.
    Every night, they would meet in the TV room. Alicia would passively hold Joe's penis, and they would watch TV for an hour or so. It wasn't much, but it was all they had.
    One night Joe didn't show up. He didn't show up for the next two nights either. Alicia assumed he was dead, but then she saw him happily wheeling about the grounds.
    She confronted him and said, "Where were you these past couple of nights?"
    He replied, "If you must know, I was with another woman."
    "Bastard!" she cried. "What were you doing?"
    "We do the exact same thing that you and I do," he replied.
    "Is she prettier or younger than I am?" she asked.
    "Nope, she looks the same, and she is 94 years old."
    "Well then, what does she have that I don't?" Alicia asked.
    Joe smiled and said, "Parkinson's disease."