|The dentist was striving to extract a tooth, but every time he got ready to proceed, the patient clamped his jaws.|
At last, he took his assistant aside and told her at the very moment he poised the forceps, to give the patient's balls a vicious pinch.
The pinch was administered, the nervous patient's mouth flew open, and the tooth was easily removed.
"Didn't hurt, did it?" asked the dentist.
"Not too much," replied the patient, "but who would have thought the root went that deep?!"
|The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband's um... little sailor can't salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her.|
The doctor thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, "Listen, I don't do this for everyone, but since your husband's on his way out...Get this prescription, and put three drops in his milk before he goes to bed."
The wife is very happy and thanks the doctor profusely.
Two weeks later, the doctor sees the woman and asks how it went.
The lady blushes, smiles and says, "Well I put thirty drops in his milk by accident, and well, we just need an antidote now to close the coffin."
|A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As it made its appearance it was
dark and had an afro.|
The doctor said, "Ma'am, have you ever slept with a black man?" She said, "Well, yes, but only once." "Once is all it takes," he replied.
Then the torso appeared and it was yellow. "Ma'am, have you ever slept with an Asian man?" the doctor asked. "Well, yes," she said, "but only once."
"Once is all it takes," he said.
When the legs appeared they were red. The doctor asked her if she had ever slept with an Indian and she said, "only once" and he replied that that was all it took. Then the doctor held it upside down and slapped its bottom to make it cry.
"Oh, thank God," she exclaimed, "at least it doesn't bark!"
|A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.|
The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who was supposed to perform the operation and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about her. What if her body rejects the organ?"
The doctor replied, "Well, she's 32 years old and is in extremely good health, apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"
The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"
"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 14 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"