|Moishe Finkelstein goes into the Ritzy Glitz Restaurant and treats himself to a huge meal with lots of champagne, finishing up with a Havana cigar.|
Finally the waiter brings the bill on a silver tray. It comes to ninety -nine dollars and ninety -nine cents, so Moshe pays him with a hundred-dollar bill.
About five minutes later, he calls the waiter back and asks for his change.
Without altering his expression, the waiter leaves and returns a moment later with the silver tray. On it is a penny and a pack of condoms.
Moishe is shocked, and demands an explanation. The waiter lifts his nose in the air, and says, "Sir, it is the policy of our restaurant to encourage customers like you not to reproduce !"
|A man walks into a sperm bank and declares, "I'm of royal blood and an I.Q. of 165, I'd like to make a donation".|
The nurse gives him a sealed cup and directs him to a private room. 20 minutes later the man hasn't come out, the nurse knocks on the door. "Is there a problem?"
"I'm so embarrassed, I used my right hand. I used my left hand. I poured cold water on it and hot water on it. Could you help me?"
The nurse replied, "I don't usually do this but you are kinda cute..."
She gets on her knees and begins to blow him.
"I really appreciate this, but I need help getting the cap off the jar!"
|A furrier from the United States went to Helsinki, Finland to purchase furs.|
The first night in Helsinki he met a gorgeous blonde named Sanna, and before long the two were alone in his hotel room.
The encounter turned physical and soon their lovemaking session was complete.
After they were finished, then the man attempted to chat with Sanna - but it wasn't going well.
He said, "I'm afraid my Finnish isn't too good."
Sanna replied, "Your foreplay ain't all that hot either!"
|Two guys are in a strip joint, one is sitting in front of the other. A woman comes on stage and starts stripping.|
The guy in back, Paul, says, "Oh yeah, Oh yeah!"
Then the first guy turns around and says, " Hey Paul, shut up!"
Then two women come out and start stripping. Paul, once again, starts, "Yeah baby...mmm...yeah!"
Once again the guy in front turns around and tells Paul to be quiet. Then three women come out and start stripping. Paul is silent.
The guy in front says, "Hey Paul, where's all your excitement now?"
Paul says, "All over your back!"